Male Role Models
I try to be a strong role model for the boys but…I’m just a girl. Not meant as a sexist remark, woman can do anything but… there are a lot of things I don’t know how to do or just plain don’t want to do. I can teach them how to do things I enjoy like cook, I can teach them how to enjoy reading..(working on that still) But, some stuff….is just best learned by hanging out with the guys. Biggest brother does like to hang with the little bros but doesn’t live here (grown and moved out…boo) So, we get male role models where we can. Hayden(reading over my shoulder) is reminding me that male role models are around but they seem to be the bad ones. ahem…Well, I have been trying in vain to get someone to help me finish painting the trim in my living room/dining room . I had two people start…and stop, several times as a matter of fact. I don’t like painting, I’m bad at it. I’m sloppy and well, I just hate it in general. A cousin was telling me her 17 year old son Mike was looking for work. Whoo Hooo…I have a sucker. I mean a volunteer to help me finish up. We worked out the details and I kept him for a whole Saturday. He was great. He not only did a great job but he let the boys help him with the patience of a saint. When he was done he even let the boys take him outside to burn ants with a magnifying glass (I know…ewww… But it’s a thing a boys got to do right?) When the day was through Ian asked Mike if he would like to be adopted. I explained that he already had loving parents who would miss him and he was already pretty much grown at 17. Ian then made sure Mike understood that I wouldn’t be adopting him, Ian would adopt him and be his dad. Oh so cute. Family, patient and handy! Wow! I already have new home improvement projects in mind for the next time I’m lucky enough for him to have a free day!
Vampire Watcher Said What?
Ian has been begging to watch New Moon from the…yes, The Twilight Series. It came in for me as a hold at the library and I knew that Ian would be ecstatic. He loves monsters ALL monsters. He is a man’s man..well, at least as manly as you can get at 7. Well, wait…his favorite color is pink…But in his defense he says “Yeah, you want to make somethin’ of it” ready to fight when he has to defend his choice and he likes to dance…but…uhhh yeah…other than that… We gather around on movie nights, spread out on the floor and couches and watch. We watched Twilight a while back. Did you see that one? Of course every person on the planet probably has by now. Well there is a scene where Edward grabs Bella, throws her on his back, jumps out his bedroom window and starts to scale a tree at a high rate of speed. Well, Ian…layin’ back with his hands behind his head says…”I wish I was a girl!” There was silence in the room. Even from his brothers. I said…What? Surely I was losing my hearing faster than I thought…I quietly said…You want to be a girl?…He said…Yeah, That way I could have a Vampire for a pet! Grin on my face at my precious baby boy, I explained that boys could have girl vampires as pets. He was satisfied with my answer…Cool…another crisis pushed back for another day.
Top 5 Things You Don’t Want To Hear Shouted From Your Backyard!
It’s officially Summer in the City and we are looking for ways to keep cool. This big ‘ol house was awesome when we moved in last fall but now that the heat is here…and with no air conditioning….Ouch! It doesn’t matter how big the windows are when it’s only blowing in more heat. I did think ahead a little bit and one of the gifts tucked inside their Easter Basket this year was a Banzai Kamikaze Blast Slide. We pulled it out from under the bed for its maiden run. I remember slip and slides from my youth…long strips of plastic with the hose laying on it or someone spraying you right? Well, these are a thing of the past. This model is a modest one but the pics…well, who could resist. Well, I’m telling you they must have a heck of a water pressure to make it spray like the photo because ours paled in comparison (there really is poor water pressure here). Well, got it set up…Audience ready… Camera ready.. Boys Lined Up….Running leap….and now…the top 5 things you don’t want to hear shouted from your backyard.
No. 5 SH*&^!!!! Sh*&%!!!! Shi*&!!!!!!! (yikes! you get the idea?) The water was really COLD!
No. 4 (second run) Ahhhhh!!!! I think I broke my B%^@ (inset mainly parts here that share a name with a round bouncing toy)
No. 3 We need more dish soap to make it faster! NO….Even MORE!!!!!
No. 2 I’m gonna take a running leap from the top of the stairs!
No. 1 You guys line up at the end there like bowling pins!
We have to move the slide around the yard each day because after about 30 minutes the catching end is a mud puddle…making it even MORE appealing to them…NOT me. They’re used to the cold water now and look forward to it. It’s easy, it’s in the back yard. I do think I’ll have to look for some foam padding or something to put under it. I’m not going to be complaining…too much. Well, maybe. I mean…why stop now?
Naked Lady Alert!
We drive past this Antique/Used Furnature store almost every single day. Leaning against the fence in the side lot is a large plaster garden statue. Well, it happens to be a Greek statue of a nude woman. Who knows how they came about seeing it that very first time but…THEY DID!. Ever since, whenever we go by, someone…sometimes even me will yell “Naked Lady Alert”! and we all look over and giggle…Little boys, so much fun. In the interest of expanding their horizons to new experiences, I figured instead of driving by, we had to make enough time to stop. The isles are crowded, the store is full to bursting its seams. It claims to be an “antique” store but most of the items I saw could be found at a local estate sale so I felt comfortable taking the boys in. There are even items stored out front on the sidewalk and in a backyard of sorts. It was an adventure. I’ve been in the store by myself, but it’s always different seeing it through the eyes of your kids. We meandered for a while before making it to….The Naked Lady… When we did there was a few hands over their eyes and nervous furtive glances. I don’t think a one of them actually took a good look at it. I’m sure I’ll regret sending them down this road one day. But for now…for today it was fun.
David McClain Antiques 2716 w. 111th Street Chicago, IL 60655
Riley’s Trick Shop
We LOVE going to Riley’s Trick Shop. Each time we go it’s a new adventure. The kids look forward to going because, as a small family owned shop, they always greet you with a smile and are always pleased to let the kids explore as long as they’d like. My kids will ask to see just about everything demonstrated and they have yet to lose patience even once. This place is wall to wall costumes and novelties. If you can’t find something you want there it’s because you haven’t opened your eyes. Even the ceiling is dripping with hats and masks. You can spend a lot of money in there but you don’t have too. The kids always walk away with a trick or a gag and the smile they get is a mile wide. Here are some of the pics of one visit there. Ian asked for a pad of gigantic dollar bills, Hayden got a trick spill cup and Caleb ended up with a can of exploding worms…Classic! I wouldn’t let them get the can of fart spray! They got to smell it through the can because the owner said it really works and it’s vile so NO spraying it in the store. LOL I’ve been going there since I was a little kid. I’m not sure who enjoys going there more. Even my oldest and I stopped in when he came for his last visit home. You are never too young or too old for Riley’s.
Riley’s Trick Shop 6442 W. 111th Street Worth, IL 60482
Twas The Night Before Mother’s Day
Twas the day before Mother’s Day and all through the house.The boys were all wrestling as mom was not about. The rain and the wind kept them inside all day, when boredom stepped in and caused them to say…. Play ball in the house what a splendid idea, chase and tag even better or wrestling…whatever.
Grandma was busy and caught just the scatter as brother on brother went down in a clatter . A bump on the head oh what a disaster, An aspirin or ambulance or more serious a matter?
A call to my work caused my heart beat to miss, What to do, what to do…Ah I know…call my Sis! She rushed from her house to the home of a neighbor, a paramedic by trade to ask for a favor.
Down the sidewalk they flew gauze and tape in their wake. Good wishes to God that it’s all it would take.Just a bump and a bruise, gauze to hold ice in place was turned into a turban that put a smile on his face.
The ice is all melted the headache now gone. One more injury behind us…until the next morn.
Granny-ism’s
My family roots are Western Kentucky. We grew up visiting my Grandparent’s farm every summer. It was a truly hard scrabble existance in comparison to Chicago life but we learned to “tote” water up a hill from a natural spring in buckets and we had the use of a two seater out house. We woke up and scrambled to one of two coal stoves that warmed the house on cold mornings. We learned to shoot squirrels and drive tractors. There were cows in fields in every direction and loads of chickens in pens. It was country. They actually moved into a more modern house then into a tiny town a few years before they came to stay with us. They were actually called MaMaw and PaPaw until they moved up north to live with us my Jr. Year of High School. When my siblings started having children she eventually morphed into Granny. PaPaw passed away and she has since moved back “down home” but we are still able to visit.
This year granny will be 86 and she is NOT a typical granny. A little old grey haired woman she will never be. Not as long as Miss Clairol is around. She favors bright red shoes and colorful dangling earrings and is tall and spry. Though she is such a loving woman who would save any keepsake or drawing or photo ever given to her like it was a precious gift, If I ever found myself in a dark alley with nefarious characters coming my way I would chose her to cover my back.. She has never backed down from a fight. Not with one of us nor with a complete stranger. She is the lady leaning out the car window shaking a fist and shouting. It’s the sayings she comes up with that make me smile and want to squeeze her. I wish to always remember them. I wish I could find a situation where I could actually get away with saying them! I will list a few here but in your mind please hear them with a southern drawl and a shaking fist.
*I’ve been to Hell but I didn’t like you’re Momma’s cookin’ *He thinks his shit don’t stink *He thinks he’s hot shit on a cold plate *Shit fire (fire pronounced far) *Don’t get your bloomers in a bunch *I’ll tan your hide * I’ll get your goat * I’ll dot your eye *Take a picture it will last longer * Shit don’t stink til you stir it with a stick *Take a flying suck at a wild gooses ass. There are more…but you get the gist.
Random Dancing
Lately we’ve been outside enjoying the weather as much as possible. I told the boys to practice cartwheels for a tumbling class they attend with the Chicago Park District.( They need LOTS of practice) As always, I had my camera at the ready to catch any “classic” photo opportunities. What I found instead is, a video clip that captured the quintessential personalities of my three little ones. Hayden, Mr. prankster and all around teaser of his little brothers. Caleb, Mr. if I’m not perfect on my first try I’ll whine loudly and profusely and… if you make fun of me… I’ll chase you down like a mad dog and last but not least, Ian Mr.I have an audience! LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! Welcome to my front porch. Sit with me and watch along. If you pay attention you can see…and hear Hayden teasing Caleb and consequently Caleb chasing Hayden in the background of Ian’s big finish number.
Ian is quite the dancer…obviously..; and will break out into a random dance while watching TV or like here to the beat of his own “funky” music…(I swear I don’t know why?) I was just fortunate enough to capture this one on tape.
Wonder why the tape ends so abruptly?…The chasing in the background…Well, it ended with a thrown shoe that hit me in the forehead~
How Do I Smell?
For the most part my little ones are finally old enough to be trusted in the shower alone. This consists of actually using shampoo and soap. Ian thinks this process takes way too long and will generally get wet and get out. I’ve had to take proactive measures to make sure they get clean. I tell them when they get out I have to smell their hair. They still try the wet head thing once in a while not realizing dirty wet hair smells just like wet dog and will cause them to be promptly sent back in for another go around. A little while back Ian came striding proudly out of the shower and asked me to smell him. Well, he smelled like strawberries. I said…gee…you smell good. He said “I should! I used almost the whole can of air-freshener!”
You’re Science Fair Project is Due WHEN???
I am a slight big procrastinator. When school project notices come home for my kids I put it on the calendar, intend to look at it and poof. It magically disappears from my conscienceness. Well, Hayden had a big Science Fair project on this Magical Calendar. He even brought home a list of deadlines (some of which we he completed on time mind you) along with the order form for the official Science Fair kit consisting of glue on letters and the tri fold backdrop for only 10 dollars and change. I went to work (at a library) and brought home about 8 different books on various projects for me him to choose from. He chose a book called Championship science fair projects: 100 sure-to-win experiments by Sudipta Bardhan-Quallen. Not only did he chose this book but he chose the experiment shown on the front cover…Why?…because duh…”sure to win” is listed right there in the title!!! I went to Ace Hardware (where they really are helpful!) and bought the supplies listed. I went to the market and bought tons dozens of varied fruit and left for work…Came home and all the fruit was eaten. (I have boys..shrug) About a week later Hayden proudly walks in the door and shows me his tri board…It’s NEON YELLOW…really??? I said “Why the heck did they give you this color? What were they thinking!!!???” Hayden looked up at me and I knew, Just knew..I sheepishly said…”You picked this color didn’t you?” It’s lovely! Awesome! It’s gonna be great! (big hug nice save right?) We actually tried the experiment later that night…with new fruit of course and low and behold…NOTHING..BUBKIS…NADA! We tried different nails, screws etc…nothin’. This is what they need a dad for! Yikes! I put everything in a basket on a tall shelf and Poof…the magic happens again. It dispaeard from my memory until…next deadline day. Once again I’m at Ace asking for help. We get different size everything. bigger copper wire, smaller light bulbs, different size nails…(see dollar signs floating around yet?) We get home assemble and yep…Nothing, Bubkis…Nada…ACK! I’m tired of this thing already! Once again..back to the store….smaller tiny Christmas tree bulbs??? Yes! VICTORY is in my his grasp. Take photos, and yep…poof…gone again. The day
before the final project is due I we sit down at the computer and start to finalize this thing. We start looking for interesting photos from the Internet and try to print…and….OMG! Printer fail!! No kidding…I email everything to myself and tell him we’ll finish when I get home from work…at 10PM!!! Get home, get him out of bed and tell him to watch assemble the things that I’ve printed. I We chose red and black construction paper backings to nullify the blinding quality of the Yellow Tri Fold. Glue like crazy and Presto! It’s done. I told him we he should just be glad it’s done and get any grade and not to hope for the “sure to win” aspect.
Hayden turned his project in on Wednesday, a few minutes before he arrived home from school I got a call from his teacher (not unusual as I must be on speed dial) She said. You know his big project is due tomorrow right? I said..oh, he turned it in today didn’t he? She said…That was the Science Fair Project he has to turn in his big Social Studies Project by tomorrow! AUGHH!!! I swear I didn’t even KNOW about this one. I We made copies of maps. I forced him to sit next to me while I we researched on the Internet, I made him get up when I came home from work…AGAIN…and color the map I we drew…
The rest of the story….
Three days later Hayden comes home beaming!! His class has chosen his Science Fair Project as one of the best in 4th grade and will go on to compete in the gym against the whole school…YEA!!!….(Oh crap!) I was just assisting right? Every responsible parent helps right?? Help me out here people it’s moral delema time… I need back-up!
